I started online dating a
month after I broke up with my boyfriend. It was December of 2012. A friend
introduced me to OKCupid, an online dating site. Half-hearted, I started
creating my own profile-- my personal profile which could either attract or
repel men. The objective was more of as a form of diversion from the heart
aches I was feeling then. I had no intention of going out on dates, or even
starting out a new relationship. I just wanted to talk to someone or anyone to
keep my mind ( and heart) off the pain . I needed to see that there are lots of
fishes in the sea. But I had no intention of playing games or engaging in any
forms of perversion on that site.
The first person I talked
with was a local. It was a good 3-day conversation which later turned out to be
a business proposal. Nah, I wasn’t up for that. The next was a New Yorker. Way
too old, about 20 years my senior. He was
a good conversationalist. Got lots of ideas. But as I have said, I was there to
talk. Not to start a relationship. And after a few weeks of chatting, it just ended.
More chatters… I never
dated even one. I wasn’t ready. Six or 7 months of chatting with random people,
I felt I was ready to mingle. Soon enough, a local was eager to meet me. We have
been exchanging messages and phone calls for 2 months! But the date never
materialized and later I found out he already has a girlfriend of 2 years. An Asshole and
another heartbreaker! Anyway, it was not a deep kind of heartbreak. But it still
stung my heart. A week later, I said to myself, the next local who will message
me and who I will find interesting, I will date asap. I guess this next
local was smitten by me because after our first date, he would message me and
call me many times and ask for a second date. However, I didn’t feel the same. So
I ended it before things got too complicated.
Once in awhile, I still get
messages from men from different parts of the world. And I wonder if it really
is possible to meet your other half (or soul mate perhaps) with this kind of
set up. Of course, the first thing that people on this site consider is
physical attraction… (just like in the real world) and the rest follows. It is still important that each of
you feels a certain kind of connection. This connection will be the trigger in
maybe putting your relationship to the next level.
I remember another New
Yorker, who after chatting with him on facebook for 2 days, asked if we could
take our relationship to the next level. I was surprised! That fast, really?
For me, the least you could do is give us time to get to know each other first.
If things turn out pretty well, then that’s the time to level up the
relationship. I wanted to take it easy because a relationship is a commitment.
And when I am committed to someone, rest assured you have my love, my respect
and my loyalty to you.
So how is online dating
treating me? Hmm… I guess, fair enough. It helped me with my moving on phase
without having a rebound person. It made me realize that men could really be
complex at times (haha). And that it is possible that someone like me is also
out there searching for someone who could turn out to be THE ONE - - that is,
if we are lucky enough to find each other.
Happy chatting! J
