It's almost been a month since I broke up
with my boyfriend of almost 5 years. Just like any other person who experiences
the same thing, I guess I can say that I am still undergoing Kubler-Ross stages
of grief.
DENIAL. I cannot seem to accept that our relationship is finally over.
Although I was the one who ended it, questions still fill my mind about what
really happened. If there are remedies to his cheating heart. Confusion comes
in. Lots of tears flowed day in and day out. Good memories still filled my
mind. I changed my number. I erased my FB and email. Yet I had communication
with one of his relatives.
ANGER. How could he have done such thing to me?
After all the sacrifices! My world revolved around him. I isolated myself from
my friends because that’s what he wanted. I answered back my parents when they
told me to leave him because he does not deserve me. I skipped my interest to
go abroad because I can't leave without him. I waited for his annulment to be
over. I took care of his needs, his health, and his other liability. It was a
one way emotional rescue. I wanted to curse him. To physically hurt him. To
have my revenge.
BARGAINING. Maybe we could still work things out if
he will do what my parents ask of him.
DEPRESSION. Extreme sadness on my part. Staying in
bed for weeks. Lost of interest in any activities. Just wanted to be alone. To
think. To cry a lot. To feel the pain caused by the break up. Emotional and
mental torture.
ACCEPTANCE. Finally I have
moved on. I am not affected anymore if he has found another girl. Back to the
way things were before I met him. Socialization takes place. More activities.
Family becomes top priority (and GOD!). No more hang ups. No more tears. Just
simply smiling and moving forward. Peace of mind! Freedom!
Hmm... What stage
am I currently in? They say a normal transition to acceptance lasts for 2 weeks to 6 weeks. For others maybe a year
or two. I guess it depends on your coping mechanisms. Just pray hard that you
could move on soon. Trust your family and friends to support you all the way. And
lastly, never ever lose yourself in a relationship which is not worth fighting
for.
Adieu!
