MEN...

I found this piece taped inside my closet door...I know I was the one who placed it there (maybe 10 years ago or more!) but I don’t remember where I got it or who gave it to me or who really wrote it.  Read on ‘cause it’s truly inspiring and amusing...:)

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behaviours. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from your heartache.

Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that’s not meant to be. Slower is better.

Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve, then heck no, you can’t be “friends.” A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.

Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

Don’t stay because you think “it will get better.” You will be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is YOU.

Avoid men who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any different?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man’s behaviour. Change comes from within.

Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are.

Never borrow someone else’s man. If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

All men are NOT dogs. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.

You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage...deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complementary...not supplementary.

Dating is fun...even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right!

Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always knows where you are, and you are always readily available to him---he takes it for granted.

Never move into his mother’s house.

Never co-sign for a man. (hallelujah, thank you Jesus!)

Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything that you need.Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Share this with your girlfriends...you’ll make someone smile...another rethink her choices and another woman prepare.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and entire lifetime to forget them...!

How To Get a TIN ID CARD (Manila)

It was year 2000 when I started to work in a company of Government-Owned and/or Controlled Corporations. But alas! I still do not have a TIN ID card. I know my Tax Identification Number though since I have been filing my Income tax Return every year.  I am just really fond of collecting ID’s--- government- issued preferably--- because it makes me feel like a good citizen (and complete!). Well, after 12 years, my friend/co-employee, Ferdie, and I decided to finally get a copy once and for all.

It was pretty simple. We headed straight to Bureau of Internal Revenue, Intramuros branch via taxi. Upon entering the building, the guard shot a copy of any of our IDs—for security reasons, of course.  We were asked what our agenda was and we told the guard that we would want to secure a copy of our TIN ID. We were then instructed to proceed to  2^nd Floor. From there, we found the desk responsible for the issuance of the ID card. We were questioned if it was our first time to secure a copy. Yes, we said! Because you see, it is free of charge for first timers. But for reissuance, you have to pay 100pesos. And so we filled up a small form with the following information: Complete name (Last, middle, first), address, TIN number, Company, Company address, contact number. It is a MUST to know your TIN number. This would facilitate the person in-charge in verifying your identification.  Anyway, we were requested to come back after 2 weeks since they ran out of blank ID cards for printing. But they say in most cases, they could easily release your TIN ID if there are less applicants (and there’s the availability of materials). Overall, it took us less than 10 minutes to finish the process.

Note: Bring with you 2 copies of 1x1 photo J

10th Floor BIR Building, Anda Circle, Bonifacio Drive, Port Area, Manila, Metro Manila‎

My Happy Ending by AVRIL LAVIGNE

Once again, I sing AVRIL LAVIGNE's famous song, MY HAPPY ENDING....LOL!

On Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder

After being in a roller coaster relationship for almost 5 years, only then did I realize that the person I loved the most has a Borderline Personality Disorder.  I felt from the start that there is something wrong in our relationship. That it was not healthy as it is supposed to be. Yet I allowed myself to be its victim up to the point I cannot tolerate any more. My patience was all used up. My emotions were abused. I changed who I really was, thinking things would get better. Despite of it all, I was at the losing end because of my emotional attachment to him.

I loved him. Even with his ugly past. He said a person could change if he wants to. He said he wanted a normal relationship. I believed him.

But how could this change be possible if he has Borderline Personality Disorder? I never understood this mental condition until the day we broke up and I started doing some research of my own. Based on what I have read, some features of BPD include:

When faced with crises, he copes like a toddler. In other words, he does not know how to handle his problems. Instead of finding solutions, he would just wallow in his own pain and sadness.  His sadness is so intense that he resorts to self mutilation or substance abuse just to relieve the pain.

He fears abandonment or rejection and is very sensitive about it. But when you show how much you care, he will be the one to distance himself. So inconsistent.

He only cares about his own feelings of pain. No empathy for the partner. And so it is useless to share your own feelings about the problem. He dwells mostly on his own pain.

When criticized or confronted, he answers with anger. He could say words that you dread to hear. Most of the times you will question yourself if this person was the one who just told you how much he loves you.

He would resort to self pity so that you will feel guilty as well.

Being with him is like always walking on eggshells. His moods can swing back and forth like a pendulum and you’ll never know even what slightest thing could trigger it. Sometimes even if you already made plans, once his mood changes, the whole preparation is suddenly disregarded.

Because of his unpredictable mood swings, you would rather censor your thoughts and emotions. No reactions = no fights

One minute he is an angel. The next minute, you just saw a devil reincarnate. It’s either he loves you at the moment or hates you. There is no gray area.

At first he will cling to you as if he would not want you to leave him. He will make you feel as if his world revolves around you. Expect this at first. But it will never happen again.

He does not hold responsibility of his actions.  He would always blame you for his shortcomings. And if he has committed something terrible, it is still your fault. YOU are the reason why he did it.

He always tests your reaction on something. It’s like having control over your feelings.

He isolates you from your friends. He feels jealous of them because for him your friends are more important than him.

He makes the rules. And he can bend it anytime he wants.

Out of sight, out of mind.  For him, distance makes the heart colder rather than fonder. For him, it’s a form of abandonment.

 What he wants, he will get at whatever cost.

Once he feels or perceives that abandonment is at hand, he will pursue other girls so he won’t be left alone by himself. Thus forming more unstable relationships. It is a cyclic pattern.

Don't get me wrong... He has some good qualities too.. Yet it is sad to admit that I have experienced all of these characteristics when I was in a relationship with a borderline. Now that I understand his condition, I found the answers that were ones kept hidden in my mind. Now I know why he acted that way. Why he said those words.  But one thing is for sure, it is very difficult to love someone with BPD.

If you can’t endure it, better end it. It could be dangerous to your mental health.

What Makes You Beautiful by ONE DIRECTION

Check out their second album!

Sometimes when I am feeling really low, I 

listen to songs which could change my 

unpleasant mood.

My most recent feel good song is ONE DiRECTION's WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL...My friend, Milan, introduced me to this new, hot UK boy band. Thank you!

 And it goes a little something like this:

"What Makes You Beautiful"

[Verse 1]
[Liam]
You're insecure,
Don't know what for,
You're turning heads when you walk through the door,
Don't need make-up,
To cover up,
Being the way that you are is enough,

[Bridge]
[Harry]
Everyone else in the room can see it,
Everyone else but you,

[Chorus]
[All]
Baby you light up my world like nobody else,
The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed,
But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell,
You don't know,
Oh oh,
You don't know you're beautiful,
If only you saw what I can see,
You'll understand why I want you so desperately,
Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe,
You don't know,
Oh oh,
You don't know you're beautiful,
Oh oh,
That's what makes you beautiful

[Verse 2]
[Zayn]
So c-come on,
You got it wrong,
To prove I'm right,
I put it in a song,
I don't know why,
You're being shy,
And turn away when I look into your eye eye eyes,

[Bridge]
[Harry]
Everyone else in the room can see it,
Everyone else but you,

[Chorus]
[All]
Baby you light up my world like nobody else,
The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed,
But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell,
You don't know,
Oh oh,
You don't know you're beautiful,
If only you saw what I can see,
You'll understand why I want you so desperately,
Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe,
You don't know,
Oh oh,
You don't know you're beautiful,
Oh oh,

[Harry]
That's what makes you beautiful

Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na
Na Na Na Na Na Na [x2]

[Middle 8]
[Harry]
Baby you light up my world like nobody else,
The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed,
But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell,

[All]
You don't know,
Oh oh,
You don't know you're beautiful,

[Chorus]
[All]
Baby you light up my world like nobody else,
The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed,
But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell,
You don't know,
Oh oh,
You don't know you're beautiful ([Zayn:] Oh),
If only you saw what I can see,
You'll understand why I want you so desperately ([Harry:] desperately),
Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe,
You don't know,
Oh oh,
You don't know you're beautiful,
Oh oh,
You don't know you're beautiful,
Oh oh,

[Harry]
That's what makes you beautiful

The Art of Letting Go

It's almost been a month since I broke up with my boyfriend of almost 5 years. Just like any other person who experiences the same thing, I guess I can say that I am still undergoing Kubler-Ross stages of grief.

 DENIAL. I cannot seem to accept that our relationship is finally over. Although I was the one who ended it, questions still fill my mind about what really happened. If there are remedies to his cheating heart. Confusion comes in. Lots of tears flowed day in and day out. Good memories still filled my mind. I changed my number. I erased my FB and email. Yet I had communication with one of his relatives. 

 ANGER. How could he have done such thing to me? After all the sacrifices! My world revolved around him. I isolated myself from my friends because that’s what he wanted. I answered back my parents when they told me to leave him because he does not deserve me. I skipped my interest to go abroad because I can't leave without him. I waited for his annulment to be over. I took care of his needs, his health, and his other liability. It was a one way emotional rescue. I wanted to curse him. To physically hurt him. To have my revenge. 

BARGAINING. Maybe we could still work things out if he will do what my parents ask of him. 

DEPRESSION. Extreme sadness on my part. Staying in bed for weeks. Lost of interest in any activities. Just wanted to be alone. To think. To cry a lot. To feel the pain caused by the break up. Emotional and mental torture. 

ACCEPTANCE.  Finally I have moved on. I am not affected anymore if he has found another girl. Back to the way things were before I met him. Socialization takes place. More activities. Family becomes top priority (and GOD!). No more hang ups. No more tears. Just simply smiling and moving forward. Peace of mind! Freedom!

Hmm... What stage am I currently in? They say a normal transition to acceptance lasts for 2 weeks to 6 weeks. For others maybe a year or two. I guess it depends on your coping mechanisms. Just pray hard that you could move on soon. Trust your family and friends to support you all the way. And lastly, never ever lose yourself in a relationship which is not worth fighting for. 

Adieu!

How To Go to Manaoag by Bus

Last November 25, 2012, my friend and I decided to go to Manaoag for the first time. Here's what we did:

We boarded a Dagupan Bus Line (Cubao) at exactly 12 midnight.  This terminal has a direct route to Manaoag daily, 24 hours a day. Much more convenient than any other bus lines. One way costs 315 pesos..We had 2 stopovers : One in Mabalacat, Pampanga (after an hour drive) and the second one in Tarlac (another hour drive). Stopovers usually last for 15 minutes. It is during this time that we get to go to the toilet or have light snack or just buy some hot coffee (it was cold inside the bus so better bring your sweater/jacket or you can rely on your special someone's body warmth )... Inside the bus you can watch the movies they are playing on dvd, listen to your ipod, or SLEEP! By the way, the bus has wifi connection so you can always check and update your facebook/twitter status. 

Before 4am, we arrived at our destination. The gate of Manaoag Church opens exactly at 4am. Before reaching the church itself, some vendors will queue to sell their items which mostly consist of candles for adoration, sampaguita flowers, pamphlets containing novena to Our Lady of Manaoag,  and different sizes of statues of Our Lady and other souvenir items which would be blessed by the priest after the mass. There are also their famous kakanin: tupig and puto calasiao.  By the way, beware of those cheats selling their items at a higher rate.  My friend bought her candles at 10pesos a piece. I got mine at 5pesos a piece! Buy your items near the gate itself. 

Mass starts at exactly 5am. Since it was still early, we toured around the Church. It was really an old church with lots of statues and paintings of Our Lady of Manaoag. The church has a separate place for lighting of candles and a confession area. I wanted to go to confession before the Mass begins but the schedule is between 730-830am. We had to wait for more than 2 hours. Anyway, since the Mass took only less than an hour to finish, my friend and I took some pictures of the whole place..just to keep us busy. We even had light breakfast in a nearby carinderia outside the church. Their longsilog was superb!  I forgot the name of the carinderia. It is located  across the  711 convenient store.

At 730am, we went back the church to confess.. unfortunately,  no priest was available at that time. I don't know why. But I guess, the reason for this is beyond my control. Will do it in our local church one of these days :) 

We left the Church at exactly 9am.  Buses come and go near the Church itself so you need not worry on how to go back to Manila. This time we boarded  via FIVE STAR bus line (Php325) instead of Dagupan Bus Line. Simply because FIVE Star bus has a route going to Pasay. Dagupan Bus route ends in their terminal at Cubao. It took us 5 - 5 1/2 hours to get to Pasay. Must be because of the traffic in Edsa. We also had two bus stops on our way home. 

We will definitely go back to Manaoag in the near future. Kindly check my friend's blog (milaniemonic.blogspot.com) for pictures. Adieu!